The Weekly Pixel


Gamer Gets Laid

nerdIn what most Video Game historians call a shocking and unprecedented event, hardcore gamer Aaron Friedman got laid. Although the video game industry is over thirty years old, this is the first recorded instance of a video game player, also know simply as a gamer, engaging in any sexual act outside of a virtual environment.

“While it is not uncommon to see Elf weddings in Final Fantasy XI or Second Life hookups, actual physical intimacy is quite unheard of,” says historian Trevor Chapton.

The exact details of the encounter have not been ascertained, but Friedman described the woman: “She had really advanced rumble features and was definitely touch sensitive. Even from up close, and I’m saying this from experience, she was almost photorealistic. I’d say she was next gen if she wasn’t older than me.”

Many gamers hope that this event will set a precedent and break the long running assumption that gamers are incapable of talking to the opposite sex, let alone sexual function. “If Aaron can do it, than I might be able to also,” says friend and gamer Chris Hill, “I just need a girl that gets hot if Trogdor is played on expert.”

Even though many gamers are optimistic for their own futures, feelings of jealousy have been prevalent on message boards and IRC channels. “I’d ask him to go on a raid with the rest of the level 70s, but he’s probably busy getting laid in RL [real life],” commented ub3rh4xX.

Some gamers even question the validity of Friedman’s claim. “Many would argue that by getting laid, Friedman is no longer a gamer,” said Chapton, “To be a gamer, by definition, is to be a virgin.”

Despite the controversy, reports of Friedman’s encounter described it as “too short and lacking any replay value.”

- Posted by chris

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